I have an idea for what my next blog post is going to be about, and plan on writing it later on today. I got distracted by checking out other peoples’ blogs again though. See I had gone and checked out what blogs my husband was following last night. I found a bunch that I was interested in and pinned them as tabs at the top of my internet browser, to go back and check out more thoroughly later on. It was kind of ridiculous how many tabs I pinned. My browser looked all cluttered, and I/my OCD hates clutter. So I decided to do some housekeeping today and actually check out all those blogs.
Well, in so doing I found a blog post on Teeny Bikini’s blog The Jiggly Bits. The post is entitled Mind Your Portions, and as I was reading it I came across something that I just had to quote here. The entire post is hilarious, but this one section seemed extremely appropriate, with what my recent posts have been about. Here’s the quote:
Let me be clear.
My explaining-food-choices day are over. I think I do pretty good [mostly]. And that’s all I require from myself.
Here is how this works.
Just mind your business and I’ll mind mine.
I will not tolerate
Food bullying or lectures of any kind
Lecturing other adults is just obnoxious – unless they ask for your opinion.
I say “no” nicely – ONCE. Twice if I like you [and I don’t have my period and/or the temperature is below 107].
But if the critic persists.
I have a new and improved – no.
The bionic no [‘cause it’s like super fast and has special powers and stuff].
The follow-up words can be anything “No – I am bit particular” or “No – it’s just not my thing.”
Whatever. It’s all about perfecting the tone with the bionic no.
Not the words.
[Insert INNER voice here. Note: Don’t be cray cray enough to say this out loud.]
Anyway, the tone sounds something like this…
“Say what now?! I know damn well you are not questioning ME about what I will and will not eat with my grown ass self. Are you frakkin’ out of your frakkin’ mind? You need to get with the program. And the program is I tell you how it is and then you deal with it – on. your. OWN. time – because as you can see I am busy lookin’ cute and trying to eat food – that. I. chose. for. myself – ‘cause that’s what all the cool grownups are doing these days. Any questions?”
And like magic. [Abracadabra! Presto!]
There are never any questions.
Couldn’t have said it better myself Teeny Bikini! I’d have to say that ” ‘cause that’s what all the cool grownups are doing these days.” has to be one of my favorite lines out of this post. Seriously though, go check out the rest of the post. I promise to have some original blog posts of my own up here soon… if I don’t get sucked back into other peoples’ blogs again that is. 😉