In one of my recent posts I talked about the things that anorexia whispers to me in my mind. How it tries to convince me that I really do feel better not eating.
But here are the things that anorexia hopes that I won’t notice, so that I will continue to listen to the lies that it whispers to me.
It hopes that I will soon forget how weak I feel when I don’t eat. How I have to be careful to not stand up too fast so as not to black out. Or how I can not trust that I will have the strength to remain standing for any amount of time.
Most of all it hopes that I will forget the terrifying feeling of my heart racing, not because I have exerted myself, but simply because it’s been too long since I’ve last had something to eat.
It hopes that I will forget these things, that I will think that they are worth it for the lies that it tells me.
It’s wrong though, I won’t forget.
The lies aren’t worth feeling this way…