Posted in Awards, Blogging, Marriage, Mental Health

Versatile Blogger Award…

I would like to thank Pondering Spawned for awarding me with the Versatile Blogger Award. I had seen this award on other peoples blogs, but never thought that anyone would want to give it to me. I also never thought that anyone would ever actually read my blog, so it means a lot to me that people are not only reading it, but that at least one person liked it enough to want to award me for it. So once again, thank you, Pondering Spawned.


The rules for this award are as follows:

Rules of the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Thank and Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Now in the rules it says that I have to state 7 things about myself, but Pondering Spawned stated things about her blog. So I think that I will make my answers a bit about me and a bit about my blog.

Seven things about The Illusion Of Controlled Chaos (the blog) and  Controlled Chaos (me)

1. The name of my blog came from what it feels like in my brain most of the time. Living with bi-polar disorder and O.C.D., (never officially diagnosed) and a bunch of other disorders, makes my brain a very chaotic place most of the time. Some of the time I can harness the chaos in my brain and use it to create in some way. That is where the “Controlled Chaos” part of my blog came from. It also describes the fine line that I walk in dealing with my disorders while not being on any sort of medications. I have set up my life so that I can manage my disorders and live a life that I am happy with. It gives me a feeling of being in control, but I know that it is a very fine balance and that my disorders still very much effect my life. Hence “The Illusion Of Controlled Chaos”.

2. This blog was originally created as a way that I could passive-aggressively rant about things that I saw on Facebook or on TV that pissed me off. Instead of actually posting my rants directly on Facebook (either as my status or as a comment on someone else’s status) I thought that I would write up a rant-y blog post and then share it to my wall. Then my friends and family would click on the link and find out what I was really thinking. The one problem with my plan was that I’m pretty sure that no one on Facebook really ever clicked on my blog links. Which I am now actually glad about because I have disconnected this blog from my personal Facebook page in order to write more freely about my life. When I created this blog I thought that only my friends and family from Facebook would read it, and that no one else would ever look at it. The reality is that a bunch of other wonderful bloggers have decided to take time out of their days in order to read what I have to say and support me, while my friends and family from Facebook never look at my blog. So, I thank you all of my blogging friends, without all of you, the only person who would see my blog would be my husband. 🙂

3.  I want my blog to be a place where I write about my life. Whatever it is that is going on in my life, or has happened to me in my life in the past. I want to do so without censoring myself, without leaving things out. But I am afraid that if I am perfectly honest about my life on here that some of my blogging friends might decide that they no longer want to have anything to do with me or my blog. So there are things that are going on in my life right now, big things, that I am afraid to write about on here. I hope to find the courage to really and truly write about my life, all of my life, sometime soon. I will share some of the things that I have been holding back in the rest of this post.

4. Speaking about censoring. I swear. A lot. I have not yet done so on my blog (that I can remember anyway) for fear of offending people. That might change soon.

5. I moved from the east coast all the way to Utah almost 9 years ago. There were many reasons why my husband and I moved, but one of the biggest ones was because of a certain church. We were more active in that church for a while after moving out here… until we left it. We just stopped going at first and then we actually had to resort to having our names removed from the church’s records to stop being harassed. Living where we do, we still get bugged about this church a lot, but we’ve learned how to quickly and clearly make it known that we are not interested. When I moved out here I was Christian, but now, after a lot of things that happened while leaving the church, I either consider myself agnostic or an atheist. I am not a fan of organized religion.

6. I am bisexual. I happened to fall in love with and marry a man. I could just as easily have met and fallen in love with a woman. Whether or not I would have been able to marry her would depend on the state that we happened to live in. I support the right for anyone and everyone to be able to marry the person they fell in love with if they wish to do so, regardless of if they fell in love with a man or a woman.

7. I am a rule breaker. Not a law breaker, but a rule breaker. Especially on things like this. I have been told as part of the rules that I need to nominate 15 bloggers for this award. I may break that rule. You see, I am still fairly new to this blogging thing. While I do follow and read a good amount of blogs, I am fairly certain that most of the blogs that I follow have already been awarded this award by somebody else. I could nominate them again, but I don’t see the point in doing so since they already have it… but I still might nominate some bloggers that I think might have this award already, but I’m not 100% sure. I would nominate Pondering Spawned again. But since she’s the one that gave me my award, that seems kind of silly.  🙂

Okay. Nominate (around) 15 bloggers:

1. Sorta-Ginger

2. MyExpWithSanity

3. Life According to Julie

4. Fat Ballerina

5. A little bit of me

6. RheasOfHope

7. Nomorefreerent

8. The Jiggly Bits

… 8 out of 15… good enough for me. Perhaps if I come across some more blogs in the future that do not yet have this award that I think should, I will nominate them. For now though, I have already stayed up way to late finishing this blog post. Thanks again to Pondering Spawned and everyone else that reads my blog. And thank you to all of the people whose blogs I read, you all inspire me.




7 thoughts on “Versatile Blogger Award…

  1. Thanks for saying you’d nominate me again! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside (or is that gas, I eat too much cheese and garlic for my own good). Anyway, we seem to have so much in common! I walked away from Catholicism, and for years I described myself as either atheist or agnostic. Don’t let your bad experiences dictate what you want to believe in, God is not religion, and organized religion often seems to bring people further from real spirituality (at least in my experience).

    I will not stop reading your blog, no matter what you write! That being said, I do apologize for not having stopped by in a while (haven’t visited many blogs lately, life happens).

    I also wanted to compliment you on your background image (all the pink swirls and flowers). It’s really pretty and perfectly compliments your set-up!


    1. You are welcome. (mmm cheese and garlic…)

      Yeah, leaving the LDS Church (I’ve been reluctant to identify it but what the hell, I’m going to write about the experience in my blog eventually anyway.) was an eye opening experience for me. I thought once I left that church that I could just go back to my semi-protestant beliefs that I grew up with, but it was not to be. In the process of doing research on the LDS church I also made some realizations about how I felt about Christianity in general. I respect the rights of others to believe as they want to, but it’s just not for me. I completely agree with you on the organized religion thing. The few very undefined beliefs that I still have will never be able to be contained within an organized religion. *I* will not allow myself to be contained within an organized religion again.

      Thank you for letting me know that you will continue to support me, no matter what I write. I just hope that you don’t regret it in the future. 😉 And there is no need to apologize for inconsistent blog reading habits, you are preaching to the choir there. 😀

      Thank you. I sometimes wonder if it’s a little too much, but I haven’t found anything else that I like better yet. It’s nice to know that my sense of style for my blog isn’t completely out there. 🙂


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