I live right across the street from a church. When I look out my windows, I see the parking lot and then the building.
Most of the time that church and I get along just fine. I am in no way religious so I will never be stepping foot inside the church, but the church doesn’t bug me to come and join, so we’ve been good. I know that on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings there is going to be a lot of traffic on the little road in front of my apartment, and that sometimes people will get a little loud standing out in the parking lot after church on Wednesday nights. I can deal with that. I check out the window to make sure that there isn’t a fight breaking out and then I get on with my life. But this week the church across the street crossed the line. This week it messed with my sleep.
I stayed up late Sunday night/early Monday morning. I had a Spider- Man comic collection book that I was borrowing from the library that needed to be returned the next day, so I stayed up till 4 am finishing it. I figured that there was no reason why I wouldn’t be able to sleep in the next day, and I really wanted to finish that book. I went to sleep around 5:30 am Monday morning. I was first awoken by the sound of construction outside at about 8:30 am. I realized that it was road construction sounds that I was hearing, got up and checked to make sure that my husband had remembered to lock the door when he left for work, and then went back to bed. Only to be woken again around 10:30 am to the sound of some guy talking really loudly. I lay in bed for a while trying to figure out where this guy might be. I determine that he doesn’t sound like a construction worker and that he more than likely is not inside my apartment because I just checked the locks the first time I was woken up. So I get up out of bed and go to the window to investigate. Then as I spot some guy in front of the church holding a microphone standing next to some speakers I realize that there is music playing too. I have no idea what this guy is going on about while yelling into his microphone, other than it was “FREE!!!” and that random people were “IN THE HOUSE!!!!” And then I hear the most disturbing words yet… they will be there tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday as well. I notice parents rushing into the building with their kids. But I still have no idea what is going on over at the church. Nor do I really care. All I know is that I was planning on still being sleeping at this time, and this idiot with the microphone is ruining that plan. I went back to bed to try and wait it out, and although he stopped yelling into the microphone fairly soon after, I was unable to go back to sleep again.
Later that day I went online and checked the website for that church. The event that the guy was outside yelling into a microphone about was Vacation Bible School and it was going to be happening up till Thursday. I hoped that perhaps the guy yelling into the microphone thing might just be a first day thing.
Tuesday morning I get woken up by the sound of the idiot with the microphone again. This time at 10:20 am and the music is even louder. I know from the church’s website that it’s supposed to start at 10:30 am, so I try to ignore him as much as I can and try to go back to sleep. Only the guy is outside yelling into his microphone telling everyone “who can hear the sound of his voice” to “not miss this” until 10:50 am. I was not able to get back to sleep. Day number 2 of sleep deprivation.
I realize that the idiot with the microphone will probably be out there for 2 more days, so I decide to try and prepare myself to deal with it ahead of time. Before going to bed Tuesday night I moved the 2 extremely loud stand fans that we own into the bedroom. When I was awoken by the sound of his voice again at 10:10 am Wednesday I crawled out of bed and moved the fans over to right next to my side of the bed, plugged them in, and turned them on high. Then I turned up the “waterfall” sound that I listen to on my clock while I sleep. I was able to pretty effectively drown out the sound of the guys voice and his music, but was still unable to fall back to sleep because now the sound of the fans is too loud and it took too long to get them set up and on. Day number 3 of sleep deprivation.
I leave the fans plugged in next to the side of my bed so that I can just quickly turn them on Thursday morning when I am awoken again by the idiot with the microphone. I sleep poorly Thursday though because the road construction is continuing and whatever they are doing outside is shaking the bed and waking me up a lot. I end up waking up a little before the time when I expect the idiot to start yelling into the microphone and I preemptively turn on the fans and turn up the “waterfall” sound. I managed to only have to listen to a very faint murmur of the guy’s voice. I also manage to fall back asleep again. My dreams however are filled with dreams of continuously trying to turn off loud fans that keep getting turned back on by other people. I turn off the fans so that I can hear what someone else is saying to me, turn my back on the fans for a few seconds and all of a sudden hear the sound of the fans running again. But annoying dreams aside, I managed to get a bit more sleep and that should be the last day that I should have to deal with the idiot with the microphone.
He had better not wake me up again Friday morning.