Whenever I get to feeling guilty or upset that my life turned out differently than I expected it to, I remind myself that even if my sister was still in my life, my life still wouldn’t be the way I would want it to be because my sister is incapable of contributing to a healthy relationship with me. All that would happen were I to allow her in my life would be that she would have another person to abuse. There is no reason for me to fill that role. If I’m not there she’ll just find someone else to abuse. Because unfortunately the only sort of relationship my sister seems to be capable of is one where she is in the role of an abuser.
Yes, families are “supposed” to stick together. But family members are supposed to not be abusive as well. I have nothing to gain from allowing my abusive sister room in my life. Keeping up a relationship with her simply because it’s what I’m “supposed” to do is nowhere near a good enough reason to subject myself to her abuse. She’s never showed any signs of feeling guilty for all the hurt that she’s caused me over the years, so why should I feel guilty for not allowing her to continue to abuse me?
Links to more posts about my relationship with my sister can be found on my “My Toxic Sister” page on this blog.