My husband and I have been living with family for over 2 1/2 years. We were planning on trying to find somewhere to rent, but there is nothing affordable in the state I live in. We started doing some research and realized that it might actually be cheaper on a month to month basis to buy.
A month or so ago we started looking. We saw some things we liked, but when we ran the numbers we realized that they were unaffordable.
So we lowered our budget even more and saw some single family homes that needed way more work than we wanted to deal with and some condos that were okay, but not quite what we wanted.
Then we saw a condo that was supposed to be a 1 bed 1 bath, but it turns out that the bedroom was about the size of a smaller walk-in closet. The owner claims that he fit a queen sized bed in there, but it seems to us that if you put a bed in there, it would be the only thing that would fit. You’d be crawling into bed as you walked through the door.
That’s okay though, because the living room area has an honest to goodness queen sized Murphy bed.
It’s basically a studio with a walk-in closet.
But, despite it’s size, I fell in love with it. It’s been beautifully redone and seems like just the right amount of size for my husband and I to restart our lives again.
And we can afford it.
So, a couple of days ago, late at night when we should have already been asleep we put in our very first ever offer on that condo. And just a few minutes later our realtor called us back and told us that she had good news. The sellers had already responded, and all they wanted was $500.00 more. We quickly accepted this counter offer and the paperwork has been signed.
Now we need to deal with the bank assessment and getting it inspected. So it’s not a done deal yet, but so far things are moving in the right direction.
Now that April’s challenge is over I could just go back to ignoring my blog again until the next challenge comes along, but I’ve decided to at least put a little bit of effort into keeping this blog alive now that I’ve resuscitated it.
It’s been so long since I’ve written anything other than haiku on this blog that this feels weird, but this used to be one of the places that I could go to process things, and sometimes that needs more words than a group of haiku can provide, so here we are.
So, a little bit of catch up for those of you who have followed this blog for years and stuck with it even through its dormant years. Remember how I told you all that I was diagnosed as being bipolar? And how I was put on a bunch of different medications because everyone thought that I was bipolar and those medications only made me worse until I lost my insurance and therefore could no longer take them?
SURPRISE!!! I was misdiagnosed in my teens. I do not have bipolar disorder.
I am, in fact, Autistic. (I’m still seeking an “official” diagnosis.)
The diagnosis of Anxiety was spot on though, so at least they got that much right.
If you’ve read any of my recent haiku you have probably already figured out that I have started to seek mental health care again and am on a few different medications now, the latest combination does seem to be helping.
Unfortunately, the timing of me restarting therapy wasn’t all that great. I had just reentered the world of mental health care when the pandemic started to shut everything down. So everything has had to be virtual. So some of my therapy is not as effective as it would be if I could actually meet with my therapist face to face, but at the same time I might not have my current therapist if the pandemic hadn’t have shut everything down because that’s when she was able to pick up new patients.
Now to explain the title of this post. Lately I have been in my “I Hate Everything” mood more and more frequently. I have named this mood what I have because the words “I hate everything” literally repeat themselves in my brain like some kind of twisted mantra. There are days where “I hate everything” are my first coherent thoughts of the day. Medication is helping with that some though.
It’s been almost 2 and a half years since my husband and I had to unexpectedly relocate from one part of the country back to our hometown, and in that entire time we have been living with various family members. The latest (for almost 2 years) has been in my (rebuilt after the fire) childhood home with my parents and 30 year old (also Autistic) brother. That’s 5 people in a small house with thin walls, where my husband and I have shoved as much of our lives as we can into a tiny room (it’s basically dorm room living) and there is only one bathroom. It’s been challenging to say the least.
My husband and I were on track to really get our finances in order and try to find a way to afford to live on our own again in this stupidly expensive state… And then the pandemic hit.
My husband is considered an essential worker, helping to build and deliver medical supply trays to some local hospitals, so we still have his income coming in which I’m grateful for. However, trying to keep this household stocked up when there are shortages has been way more expensive than I anticipated. It’s been quite frustrating.
I am in no hurry to get everything reopened though. We are still in the middle of the first wave of this pandemic and it is still not safe.
Which is where my “I Hate Everything” mood starts to come into play.
Because there are plenty of people that don’t understand that reopening things doesn’t mean that the virus is gone and you can go back to doing whatever you want to without worrying about getting sick/inadvertently getting someone else sick. So reopening now, or in the next few days just seems incredibly risky to me.
And then there are the people, some of them politicians, who think that we should treat this like a “survival of the fittest” situation. That if this virus kills off the old, sick and homeless it will “solve a lot of problems”.
I. Hate. Everything.
What I hate the most though is how this pandemic has fundamentally changed me. I don’t know if I will ever feel safe in public spaces again. I was already agoraphobic before this, so this has not improved things on that front. I would like to be able to go out and do things again, but I think it’s going to be a long time before I’m truly comfortable, if ever.
So, I feel trapped, especially in current living situation, but I don’t feel safe going anywhere.
I have this really bad habit of composing blog posts in my head while I’m lying in bed in the early morning hours wishing I was sleeping.
This habit wouldn’t be so bad if any of those blog posts actually made it onto my blog the next day. Most of the time by the next day the only thing I can remember is that I had an idea for a blog post, but the specifics of the idea are gone.
I’ve thought about just getting up out of bed and writing the post right then, but my sleep schedule is already messed up as it is. The same goes for picking up my phone and writing a quick note to remind myself. I’m already trying desperately to fall asleep, so I’m not about to let the light from my phone be another excuse for my brain to continue to stay wide awake for longer. Not to mention the fact that I don’t want to wake my sleeping husband who usually only has a few to a couple more hours to sleep before he has to get up by the time I head to bed.
So instead I lie in bed and remember that once again I didn’t post anything on my blog the day before, feel guilty for neglecting my blog and start to mentally compose yet another blog post that will (literally) never see the light of day.
When it is day and I have the opportunity to actually post something on my blog, I usually have no idea what I might want to say.
Not much of interest has been going on in my life lately.
My husband and I splurged and bought ourselves Samsung Galaxy S7 phones. This is the first time we’ve ever had the most recent model of anything and we’re hoping that it will buy us a bit more time before these become obsolete. There was a bit of drama where it had been several days and our “overnight shipping” order still hadn’t even finished processing and it took calling the company we bought from a couple of times to discover that we had somehow created “Schrödinger’s Payment”. You see, the payment was showing as “paid” and “not paid” at the very same time. A weird series of glitches happened while paying for our order and once the correct department was aware our order finished processing and our phones were finally shipped.
Only to then temporarily be taken hostage by FedEx. We missed the original delivery and instead of delivering the phones to the apartment complex office like the driver was supposed to he took them back to the FedEx location with him to attempt to deliver them the next day. Curtis even got a ride to the FedEx location only to not be able to get the package because his ID still has our old address on it. The phones were successfully delivered the next day though.
I also successfully (I hope) fought with my doctor’s office billing department to get them to fix a mistake that they made that caused me to be billed for things that my insurance would happily pay for completely if only they were coded correctly. To my surprise my insurance company happily backed me up and left a message with my doctor’s office letting them know that it was on them to fix this simple error and told them exactly what they needed in order to be able to cover my claim properly.
I also learned during this time that my Depo Provera birth control injections are stupid expensive and that I am super happy that my insurance covers them 100% when billed correctly.
This was the second time that I’ve been billed for preventative care that should be paid for by my insurance (because it’s the law) because they coded something wrong, only the first time they refused to fix it and I just paid for it out of my own pocket because I didn’t have the time or energy to fight it. We decided not to risk having something like this happen again and found another, more convenient, Doctor’s Office nearby that takes our insurance. We will meet our new doctor in the beginning of October.
I’ve mostly been keeping myself entertained lately via TV, reading (Sack Nasty, The Erratic Sun, and A Death On Skunk Street. Buy these books!), social media, Pinterest, (is that a form of social media? I literally just gave in and tried it a few days ago and have just started to understand it.) and playing Pokémon Go with my husband.
I did have my husband help me cut my hair again a couple nights ago. I decided I wanted to do something different and these were the results:
I’ll end this post with a couple of examples of what me and my cat look like when we’re turned into art by another one of my latest obsessions, Prisma.
Those two things actually have nothing to do with each other though.
On Monday the set of markers that I’ve wanted for years and recently went ahead and ordered arrived in the mail. I now am fairly certain I have all the colors that this company has to offer.
I haven’t had the chance to do anything with these new markers though, because very early Tuesday morning I noticed my cat, Teddy Bear, seemed to be licking his behind an excessive amount. Him being a cat though it can sometimes be hard to figure out what’s behavior to be worried about and what is just normal cat neuroticism. This turned out to be the worrying type because when I finally fought my way to a look at his behind I noticed a sore.
We’ve been down this road before, so I knew that this was probably an anal gland that was either about to burst or had already burst.
He’d just been at the vet’s office a few days ago for a pedicure and now he had to go back.
So I woke my husband at around 3am and informed him that we had a problem and that he’d have to call the vet when he got up in a few hours and see if they could see our cat that day.
And then he’d have to bundle our cat into his carrier, walk to the bus stop, take one bus to the end of the line and then switch to another bus to get to the vet’s office to drop him off.
And then he could go into work for the day.
They were able to see our cat, and my home diagnosis was correct, one of his anal glands had burst on him again. They’d have to put him under for the procedure to fix him up, but there was a problem. They noticed a heart murmur and would have to do an x-ray to determine the seriousness of it before they could anesthetize him.
And the x-ray was going to pretty much double the cost of his treatment.
We told them to go ahead and do the x-ray and let us know what the results were.
And then we waited…
Around 3pm my husband called them for an update and found out that they hadn’t even given him the x-ray yet. My husband asked them again to call us with the results and we continued to wait.
Around 5pm they called my husband and let him know that the entire procedure went well and they wanted us to come pick him up around 6pm.
So much for calling us after the x-ray..
We were lucky enough to have one of my husband’s co-workers offer to let us borrow his car to pick up our cat and avoided having to take buses there and back during rush hour.
He’s on pain meds for the next few days and they want to see him back in 2 weeks.
And during those 2 weeks he has to wear a cone.
In a few days we’ll have been living in our new apartment for 6 months. While I sometimes wish that we had a bit more space, I’m glad that we decided to go with this one bedroom apartment over the 2 bedroom 2 bathroom (1 1/2 bathroom? It had a weird “Jack & Jill” bathroom setup.) apartment that was “cheaper” in the apartment complex down the street. I can’t imagine not having any (somewhat) private outdoor space at all. I’m in love with our large patio surrounded by bushes. (Although it’s now somewhat less surrounded than it used to be since they tore out a good chunk of bushes recently as the photo below shows)
The bushes usually house a good number of house sparrows and we have put up a couple of bird feeders on our patio. The bird feeders have made the sparrows happy and have also attracted a score of other birds to our patio including:
Not to mention the fact that had we decided to go with the other apartment complex we probably would not have gotten brand new carpeting, linoleum and countertops.
And honestly, I have no idea what we’d do with a second bedroom anyway.
For the first time in about a decade we live in a place that won’t freeze us in the winter and boil us in the summer all while bankrupting us through utility bills.
And it’s actually taking a bit of an adjustment.
I find that I’m still bracing myself for when summer really starts even though it’s already been in the mid 90’s out here this year.
Our apartment stays a consistent temperature whether it’s freezing or unseasonably hot outside. After moving I slowly learned that I no longer had to wear several layers plus a blanket inside to have a chance of avoiding hypothermia.
This is not an exaggeration. We had our thermostat set to the lowest temperature we could set it to without risking freezing the pipes in our old place, the temperature they tell you to set it to if you’re going on vacation and won’t be living there only we stayed, and our natural gas bill was still stupid expensive.
Now I find that I’m waiting for the day when it gets up to over 90 degrees inside our apartment, because that’s what our last two summers were like. And that was with an actual central air conditioning system. For the 8 years before that we dealt with a swamp cooler, which sadly seemed to work better than our actual air conditioner. I don’t know what perfect storm of problems led to our air conditioner running nonstop all summer (starting in March because the sun heated that place like an oven. Well half that place, the other half was always freezing until actual summer came) but not managing to actually make the place any cooler, but I’m so glad to be out of that bank account draining hell. Our electric bills got up to about $200, for a fairly small one bedroom townhouse, and we still had to deal with living in unbearably hot conditions.
It’s already been in the mid 90’s out here and the warmest it’s gotten in our apartment was around 77 degrees, and that was only because the area where the thermostat is was blocked off by a curtain for a while. We set the thermostat to around a certain temperature (I miss my digital thermostat) and the apartment stays around that temperature. Without the air conditioner running nonstop. Our bank account is thanking us.
We filed our taxes as soon as my husband’s W-2 became available.
And then received additional tax forms in the mail.
Luckily the forms would not effect our refund amounts, but they did mean that we would need to amend our taxes.
We’ll be waiting to file until after we receive those forms from now on. Doing taxes once a year is enough for me.
But, like I said, we filed our taxes as soon as we could, so that we would receive our refunds from the Federal and State governments as soon as possible.
No big fun plans for those refunds, just lots of debt to pay off. And the sooner it was paid off the better.
Our federal refund showed up first and very quickly most of that money was transferred from our bank account to the various accounts of those we owed money to.
A couple hundred to our doctor’s office to pay off what they decided we owed after a visit that was supposed to be covered completely by our insurance last year. Attempts to get them to fix their mistake went nowhere fast, so it was just easier to pay the debt and make the entire thing go away.
Several hundred each to our Care Credit cards to pay off all the debt that we racked up the year before through all the dental work that we both needed done after not seeing a dentist for well over a decade.
We had plans to pay of some off our credit card debt, build up our depleted savings, and resume saving for retirement again with the refund that we had coming from the State. We had hopes that we’d have something left from that to do something fun as well.
And then we received a bill from our dentist letting us know that we actually capped out on what our insurance would cover during 2015, so insurance didn’t pay as much as they thought they would, and we now owed them over $800. And could we please make that payment within 10 days?
So much for not having anymore debt on our Care Credit cards for a while… thank goodness we just paid them off though.
So we made another plan on how to pay off this new debt. And then I got sick. For a month. With the chest cold from hell. (Still have an annoying cough that just won’t quite go away. I’m soooo close to being completely better though.)
And then last week our cat pounced onto the bottom shelf of one of our rather old, kinda cheap end tables one to many times and one of the little plastic feet broke off.
We had been talking about buying new end tables soon, but we didn’t expect it to be quite so soon.
So another plan for what to do with our tax refund went out the window.
Our State tax refund finally showed up…
and very quickly was scattered among various payments to others.
To buy new end tables and new cushions for our outdoor furniture.
A payment to Care Credit to start to pay down this new, unexpected debt.
A payment to our credit card, to help pay down our older debt.
A payment to the Utah Transit Authority to refill our transit cards and enable us to be able to continue to use public transportation.
A transfer to our savings account so that our emergency fund might actually be useful in an emergency.
And a transfer to Curtis’ IRA to make sure that we’ve at least saved something toward his retirement this year. (Our retirement savings years end in July, the month he was born in.)
Being an adult is not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be when I was yearning to grow up as a kid…
But I have to say there is a definite sense of accomplishment in having paid off so much debt. Even if it was only temporarily for some of it.